fear

it was never the goodbyes that scared me



only the thought of being forgotten

overcast

i'm getting sick of the weatherman telling me what i have to be

and when i have to get up in the morning

it's raining right now and it's like the universe is reminding me that
it's okay to cry sometimes

even when everyone else is expecting sunshine

in a way i'm used to disappointing people

so i'm sorry to rain on your parade

but i can't suppress the weight of the rain much longer


"everything that goes up must come down at some point"

you were the reason

recollect me
help me gather the broken pieces of my mind

it's been a long road home

and these ropes around my wrists are starting to burn

the weight of hollow friendships has left my bones weak

and i don't know if i can keep forgiving you for making the same damn mistake

you were the reason i let my wall down

and brick by brick

you're the same reason it's back up and stronger than ever

a combination of lines from every letter ;

"'i'm really nervous right now.'

'i don't know what to say, i'm bad at letters but i know that you love them.'

'growing up makes me so sad'

'i'm afraid of change and having meaningful things become irrelevant.'

'looking at you laying there so beautiful and carefree.'

'i don't want to forget you.'

'i know we are young but i don't think anything would be much better 

then waking up to you each day'

'anything with you is an adventure.'

'i don't regret spending so much time with you'

'everyday, every mistake, every cry, every kiss, every sleep over sneak out late night screw up.'

'i need you to know that i love you'

'sometimes i just forget that if everyday i'm not fighting to keep you, then you are falling farther away from me.'

'i never meant to hurt you.'

'i can't express my guilt into words, i'm torn, i'm devastated.'

'all i want you to know is that if you never stop loving me i will never stop trying for you.'

'we will find a way to fix this'

'watching you walk away crushed me.'

'constantly on the edge of tears, love is so strange'

'i know i'm not perfect but i try to treat you like you deserve because i don't want you to grow up thinking its okay to be treated poorly.'

'i love you and i would be ruined if something happened to you'

'we are real, we are imperfect and i love our imperfections. '

'i wouldn't change a thing.'

'i don't know what we will be when you read this but i want you to know that you've made me the happiest boy in the world.'

'i'm blessed to have known you and loved you.'

'i love you always'

'everyday, every night, and everywhere  in between.' "

[quoted lines from real letters; a love poem]