"im scared of being scared and that scares me"

i stopped writing because i was scared;

scared of boys wanting to hang out with me on the weekends but not wanting to talk to me at school

scared of getting pitty compliments from my friends after we reveal

scared of my mom seeing my blog

scared of my eggs not being cooked enough

scared of saying hi to someone and they don't say hi back

scared of nelson not liking my writing, yet i'm scared of him liking my stuff because:

i'm scared of people having too high of expectations of me

i'm scared of listening to my heart because it's the most honest part in my body

i'm scared of the top 5 and i'm scared of not being on the top 5

i'm scared of curling my hair because i don't want people to think i'm trying to 'dress up' because i'm not

"i'm scared that one day someone is going to ask how i am and i'll tell them"

i'm scared of people thinking i'm depressed

i'm scared of the fact that i have a place in my closet for clothes i'm waiting to wear
because i'm not confident enough yet

i'm scared of people thinking i'm weak

i'm scared of proccessed foods

i'm scared of driving

i'm scare of how many poems i've started but haven't finished

i'm sacred i'm scared i'm scared, i'm scscaredscaredi'mscaredi' mescaredi'mcsare dimscaredimc'esredim'cesrerd'eimm'cscaredi'mescare.di'misacred.sim'secared.im'lesscare i'am me slielm.im'cesaredi'mecared'mcaed'amcekjalsk dlkfnskdfnwajwp oeraposjndgklajrptapojglkdnlgsndfj lkjlskaj;ieja'mc,a /e/ajsldjfla ca .sjejijasd,

i was once told that fear can control you 

and that scares me
and that modivates me.

          -N.L.